✖ PARADISA

A panfandom roleplay

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002 - Can't get through to you
I won't cry
xiaomeimei wrote in paradisa
[bit of a sigh, then a few doodles 'round the edges of the journal, twisting up the sides, nothing of much meaning, really, though maybe a heart or two before she scribbles them out, then dictated forever]

Seems Simon an' River are both here, but I ain't seen either of them. Simon...don't remember me, though. I mean, it weren't filtered, so. I heard his talk with Inara, and...well. Guess that's that, huh? I mean, it was hard enough just gettin' around all the other bits and pieces with not being fancy like the girls he's all used to, but I thought we were makin' progress, even so? But now he don't even remember me.

So much for...whatever we were makin' progress toward, I guess.

What is there for a girl to do around here to take her mind off a boy who don't even know her name no more?

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Gravitate toward the friends who do know your name.

Yeah, I guess...but there's really only...I mean, River's here, but I ain't seen her an' I hate to bother Inara.

New friends sometimes helps. I've made a few since I got here.

I guess I just need to actually get out a bit more...

Yer tried that outdoor bath thing yet? S'awful good fer stress relief, I find.

Oh, Kaylee. I'm so sorry.

I know, mei mei, but...I hate to see you hurting.

...I'm sorry. I...think we're both recovering from New York. It was... [trails off]

I didn't know how to - that is - it's very strange.

But I know we became...close, and I don't see why that couldn't happen again.

We could...make new memories?

[long pause and she's not even sure she wants to answer, 'cause it's a bit mortifying he heard that and decided to say something]

If you don't know who I am, why would you even want to? You don't know nothin' about me.

[equally long pause, as is a bit mortified he responded]

I know you kept Serenity flying. That means something.

I know Inara likes you, and not trusting Inara's taste would be...illogical.

I know you, um, have a cute pretty nice cute voice, and you care about River, and...

And I'm not very good at making friends, or...anything else, so the fact that I - did. That's...special.

...And I'm rambling. Did I often ramble in front of you?

Kaylee... [she smiles and there is a slight moment of relief, but it shifts as she hears about Simon]

He is here then. I thought.. maybe I was wrong. That the math had added up on the wrong side.

...River? [hasn't actually gotten to speak to her or see her after all?]

You ain't seen him? He's been looking for you.

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