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thirty-four: wtf castle. W. T. F.
demonmagnetism wrote in paradisa
[so just because one is technically on an exploration trip with Nine and co. doesn't mean one is exempt from HORRIBLE DISTURBING DISFIGUREMENT, does it? Dictated:]


Okay Paradisa, you've had your fun, but I DEMAND BACK MY MANPARTS.

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You are kidding right? The castle seriously took away your interesting bits? I thought I had problems with the blonde hair.

Kidding? Oh GOD how I wish I was kidding. But this isn't the kind of thing you kid about. I'm a freaking EUNUCH! Oh jesus. What if it doesn't get fixed? I mean, brightside? I guess I could join a choir, but oh crap oh crap oh crap...

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I think the bright-side option's out too, despite the panicked screeching I think technically your voice box appears to think they have actually dropped.

Oh they've certainly dropped, I just don't know where exactly.

Okay, run with me here, I'm collating information on castle losses and I need a few details. [holding back a laugh] Have you been to the bathroom yet this morning, and if so, care to elaborate...?


Ma'am, call me crazy, but I'm sensing you're not taking this all that seriously.

Edited at 2009-03-09 03:17 pm (UTC)

Oh I am, absolutely. Why else would I need such explicit details?

[dryly] To further your personal amusement?

That you could even think such a thing when I'm here, tirelessly recording and analysing loss data.

I'm Doctor Vala by the way and some co-operation would be very useful about now, I can't possibly ascertain if you're eligible for the reversal of this loss without that information.

Doctor Vala, now would you be a real doctor or the kind with an array of impressive phoney diplomas and a stethoscope that you got one time in a christmas cracker?

You're a very suspicious person aren't you? Trust me, if I wanted to show an inappropriate interest in your genitalia, I'd do it when it was intact, not absent.

...and as truly worrying as that statement is coming from a woman I only just met, I still find it oddly comforting. I'm Xander by the way.

...you don't actually know how to reverse this loss, do you?

[Dr. Jackson, to the rescue!]

No, she doesn't.


Ah, see, I knew it! Never trust Doctors. Unless they're aliens. And especially don't trust them if they're inappropriately curious hot sounding women.

Edited at 2009-03-09 07:16 pm (UTC)

Or career con artists. I'm sorry about her.

Well now I feel used and cheap. Appreciated.

Oh hang on a minute, how does me possibly telling a few tiny untruths, equate to using you? I was rather liking you too, Xander. If you weren't so entertaining, I wouldn't have bothered.

Edited at 2009-03-09 07:26 pm (UTC)

On the bright side, your private information is still... private.

I might, how would you know? It's not entirely impossible.

Excuse us for a moment Xander, Doctor Jackson obviously isn't aware of my latest research.

As if you could get information that has stumped several years' worth of residents, Doctor Vala?

I'm a very resourceful woman, and you're no fun.

'Resourceful' or 'infinitely frustrating'?

Your latest research into... how to exploit the gullible and desperate?

Noooo, not at all. My latest research into whether Goa'uld technology might be able to help. I swear, okay I'm not an actual Doctor, that bit might have been made up.

Riiiiiight, and what is 'Goa'uld', exactly, other than really weird to pronounce?

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