✖ PARADISA

A panfandom roleplay

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loving ⋙ nothing you can do
clarklike wrote in paradisa
---- Lois Lane ----

[Telling her wouldn't be easy.

He's just a mangle of emotions. Relief, dread, worry, guilt, they all simmer at the pit of his stomach as he thinks a few hard thoughts. If he'd been faster, would Kara still be alive? The rest of the sacrifices? If he'd told Kara to stay away from it entirely, would things be better or worse? Would she have even listened? He knew Lana was alive, but was she okay? Was everyone else okay?

And, maybe worse yet, was Lois going to feel responsible, or would the gap in her memories spare her that grief? He could take a few seconds and remove all evidence from the journals, black and burn out all the grisly details, but that wouldn't remove it from everyone else's memories. It wasn't fair to Lois. It wasn't ethical.

But the idea was nice, to protect her from this.

Clark sets her down in her room, and in a hundredth of a second he's back in jeans and a t-shirt instead of the suit, and then he pulls her into a hug.]



Thank god.


[A little bit ironic, given the situation, but Clark isn't going to fumble with expressions of relief right now.]

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[She appreciates the embrace, she really does, but she doesn't understand that look on his face, or the hints of destruction she saw - and her mind is still rejecting the idea that this is actually the world that's returning with growing clarity to her memories.

One that isn't hers.

Lois hugs him tightly for a minute, before gently peeling him back enough to look him square in the eye, and asking cautiously:]


Can we start at the beginning, maybe? It's just that you seem to have a running start on this little reunion, and I'm still looking at a puzzle with most of the pieces missing. I'll take the Cliffs Notes if I have to.

[There's a definite reluctance, there, and another urge to just shelter her from this and somehow make it go away.

But he can't.]


Lois... about a week ago, you were possessed by a goddess named Isis. We've been trying to break her hold on you ever since.

[The look she fixes him with is one that says that she might be considering whether they've encountered some kind of new Kryptonite that has a debilitating effect on his mental health.]

Clark... that happened over a month ago. Trust me, it was... kinda a big day to remember.

[If Isis hadn't told him, that would have made this so confusing. He shakes his head.]

Isis knew about that. She said it had happened before... but I have no memory of it.

[Carefully, as if to confirm what he's saying.] Before?

... Now I might sometimes touch a hot stove twice when it comes to reporting, but what on earth would have possessed me to get near that necklace again?

[And something else hits her] And what do you mean you don't remember?

It could have been the castle.

[He does a bit of mental timeline-gymnastics. It's September 2010 for him, back home... and it was early September 2009 for her. Then if she's from ahead of him...]

You went back. You went back to our world for over a year, and now you have more memories than I do. But it doesn't make sense... what's the date, back home?

The castle. [It's sort of a question, more than a statement. And now she slowly turns her head to look around, and her eyes widen a bit as she takes in... where she is, and really can't force herself to deny this much longer.] Paradisa.

[She breaks away from to stand a few feet away, because she needs some space to deal with all this. Oh right, he asked her a question. She fumbles to think straight.]

It's uh, December. 2010.

Then while you were away for sixteen months, it was a week for us... and Isis was here in your place.

[He's so very tempted to ask if –– or rather, how –– he's alive in her time, but that can wait. He watches her move, piecing it together in the best way he can think of.]

Paradisa sent you home and brought Isis here from our timeline –– when she had possessed you the first time. Paradisa is responsible for this.

[She doesn't like this... any of this. And now she's got this horrible sinking feeling in her gut...]

Clark... what happened? What did she do?

She tried to resurrect Osiris.

Again. [She doesn't have all the details from last time, just the version Clark glossed over later, but enough to know some things...]

She didn't hurt you, did she? I imagine she was pretty pissed off, considering that's twice now you've shut her down.

I'm fine.

[Physically.]

Knowing what happened before let her drag this out longer. She was pretty unforgiving this time. She knew how to keep me at arm's length.

[This is probably the ugliest thing he's ever had to say to her, but he keeps his tone calm and level.]

She had sacrifices, some successful. A couple people died bringing her down, too.

[The blood in her veins seems to freeze solid. It's not even shock on her face - it's just something like terror. She looks as vulnerable as a child for a moment as the full weight of that hits her.

Isis killed someone. With her body.

Several someones. She committed mass murder, all while...]


No...

[She takes an involuntary step backwards, shaking her head slightly.]

This can't be happening, Clark. Not after everything, not-- [Not now, not today. One moment of pure happiness the other night, followed by nothing but blow after blow and now all of this and trapped here to boot?]

[He moves forward when she moves back, crushed by the expression on her face.]

Lois... I'm sorry.

[She just throws herself against him, arms wrapping tightly around her neck as she buries her face against his shoulder, as if she could staunch the flow of tears that way. Her voice is shaky when she speaks:]

Why is this happening?

[He just holds her.]

I don't know, but it's never going to happen again. Not like this.

[It doesn't matter that she has no way of knowing what's coming next, she still finds comfort in the absolute confidence and resolution behind his words. Her head falls against his chest before she gets the nerve to ask:]

How many?

Edited at 2011-01-25 07:43 pm (UTC)

Six?

[She really can't stop herself from asking:]

Who?

[That is the worst question.]

Sam Winchester, Kat, Penny, Sister. Akihiko.


[Pause.]

And Kara.

[She turns her face up towards him, tears brimming over as she searches his face as if to confirm what he just said.]

Oh god, Clark.

... I'm so sorry.

[He shakes his head, almost stubbornly.]

You don't need to be. It's not your fault. She knew what we were getting into, we knew it was a risk... [to bring you back.]

[She's tried her hardest to be level headed about Carter, and mature and grateful but this is too much and she trusts Clark enough to be able to blurt out even the things she knows she shouldn't be thinking.]

I don't want anyone else to die for me.

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